FUNNY JOKE

nsw9154 · Post by **nsw9154** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 6:04 pm

<img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/ ... y_post.gif ALT=":funny"> <img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/ ... iker_3.gif ALT=":riding"> <img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/ ... Stupid.gif ALT=":stupid"> == A Policeman was following this R1 and he was doing 19mph so the policeman pulled him up, it was a 70year old rider with a equaly old pillion - and the policeman said to him , why are you doing 19mph on this road on this fast bike - the speed limit is 70mph - and the old rider said well this is the A19 so i am doing 19mph -- the policeman then looked at his pillion rider and she was shaking like a leaf and the policeman said are you OK - and she said - i am now - we have just turned off the A174 ------<img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/ ... ananna.gif ALT=":banana"> <img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/ ... iker_3.gif ALT=":riding"> <img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/ ... Waving.gif ALT=":hi"> <img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/ ... Cheers.gif ALT=":cheers"> WELL I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS GOOD ------ HEHEHEHE <img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/ ... Stupid.gif ALT=":stupid"> norman

Post by **jjs777** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 6:06 pm

I liked it...but moving it to general discussion -John  <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v485/ ...   <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/ ... cement.jpg" target="top">1995 FZR1000</a>  <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/ ... 00x600.jpg" target="top">1990 FZR1000</a>  <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/ ... resize.jpg" target="top">1990 FZR1040</a>

nsw9154 · Post by **nsw9154** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 6:08 pm

sorry <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/embarassed.gif ALT=":o"> <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/eek.gif ALT=":eek"> <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/frown.gif ALT=":("> jjs i did not know <img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/ ... s/oops.gif ALT=":oops"> <img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/ ... ock_On.gif ALT=":rock"> norman

ExupElvis · Post by **ExupElvis** » Tue Jun 21, 2005 1:16 am

Good stuff Norman, wonder how that would'a worked out if they were on the 405?<img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/eek.gif ALT=":eek"> Genisx1AtYahooeyDotCommaMomma

Post by **jjs777** » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:03 am

on the 405 ? that would have to be left to jay lenno and his Y2K bike -John  <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v485/ ...   <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/ ... cement.jpg" target="top">1995 FZR1000</a>  <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/ ... 00x600.jpg" target="top">1990 FZR1000</a>  <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/ ... resize.jpg" target="top">1990 FZR1040</a>

djalbin · Post by **djalbin** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:14 pm

While we are on the theme of motorcycle jokes ...

A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and
shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine." The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby."
The little boy replied, "You take some of this here turpentine and rub it
on a cat's ass and he'll pass a Harley Davidson."

Don

Post by **Hooligan** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:18 pm

hahahahahahahahaha! good one don. i'll be chuckling at that tomorrow at the office...

Post by **jjs777** » Sat Oct 15, 2005 6:39 am

lol

okay now for a cool car commercial....I wouldnt want to be the driver...and take a listen to the motor...but not too loud youll blow your pc speaker and possibly have an accident

http://oxalic.net/temp/classic_auto_1.mpeg

Peppa2 · Post by **Peppa2** » Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:52 pm

dam you

djalbin · Post by **djalbin** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 10:54 pm

I have not seen any jokes posted in awhile ... time to get them going again.

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began.
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.
One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.
As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realised he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang,bang'.
Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.
Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly".

djalbin · Post by **djalbin** » Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:37 pm

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls."
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too
easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in
the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution,
in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals
12 cuckoos = MIDNITE!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I
told him "Midnight". He didn't seem upset at all.
Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him
why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times,
then said, "Oh shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat,
cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and
then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

djalbin · Post by **djalbin** » Fri Nov 04, 2005 10:10 pm

Two good ol' boys, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the CommunityCollege and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day Jim goes down to the college and meets the dean of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic?" Jim says. "What's zat?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"Im not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar.

He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's zat?"

Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed eater?"

"No."

"Yore queer ain'tcha, Bob?"

Post by **FZRDude** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 12:15 pm

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever
lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans
to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already lives in
Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of
Atlanta, Georgia.

Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The
only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn
around and start over when you reach Greenville, South
Carolina.

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and
include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House."
Except that in Cobb County, all directions begin with,
"Go to the Big Chicken."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is
not to be confused with
Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Lane
Peachtree Road
Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Run
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Commons
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Corners
New Peachtree
Old Peachtree
West Peachtree
Peachtree-Dunwoody
Peachtree-Chamblee
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way
home. If you ask anyone for directions they will
always send you down Peachtree.

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all they
drink there, so don't ask for any other soft drink
unless it's made by Coca-Cola.

Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport
is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear
sneakers and pack a lunch.

The 8am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM.

The 5pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM.

Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts
through 2am Saturday.

A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so
do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will
simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.
The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawns duh LEE-on".

The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to
immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single
snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days
and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15
minutes for a week. All grocery stores will be sold
out of milk,bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and
beer.

I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta that has a
posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain
80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known
to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

Don't believe the directional markers on highways.
I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going
"North" or "South". The locals identify the direction
by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop".
If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be
going southeast.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to
one of the interstates and you will soon find one in
the middle of the road.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver
the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger
finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their
feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in
Georgia.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in
Georgia, plus a couple no one has seen before.

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).

Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start
drinking it when you're 2 years old.

"Jeeeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

If you understand these jokes, forward them to your
friends from Atlanta, Georgia and those who just wish
they were.

djalbin · Post by **djalbin** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 6:50 pm

This Atlanta phenomenon seems to have been adopted by several cities across the country.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to
one of the interstates and you will soon find one in
the middle of the road.

Don

Post by **jjs777** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 6:50 pm

....

bikes for men only

http://www.anvari.org/fun/Gender/Bike_for_Men.html

djalbin · Post by **djalbin** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 9:17 pm

Nice bike John. Maybe that's why they started putting performance brakes on the front of choppers ... so they could practice stoppies with one of these bikes

Don

willi · Post by **willi** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 9:24 pm

wat a crack up.

Post by **FZRDude** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 10:01 pm

pun intended

djalbin · Post by **djalbin** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:42 am

There were two friends at the beach. One guy had it all together. The other guy was a little slow. The dumb guy asked the smart guy how he was able to attract the attention of all the girls at the beach. The smart guy told him "I put a potato in my swimsuit and it impresses all the girls". The dumb guy thought about it and decided the next day to put a potato in his swimsuit. The next day as the dumb guy is walking down the beach he meets his smart friend and asks him "I don't get it. I put a potato in my swimsuit like you, but all the girls are laughing instead of being impressed". The smart guy looks at him and says "You moron, the potato goes in the front".

djalbin · Post by **djalbin** » Sun Nov 27, 2005 2:58 pm

John,
You posted the new age version of the naked bike ...

bikes for men only

http://www.anvari.org/fun/Gender/Bike_for_Men.html

Well it's not just for men anymore. Here's the ladies model

Don

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motorcycle theme jokes

car commercial

Medical Checkup

Girls Night Out

Education

Atlanta

Nice Bike

Smart versus Dumb

Not just for men