And That's When The Fight Started

[FZRDude]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $10.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And thats when the fight started.....

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She s aid, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'
And thats when the fight started.....


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And thats when the fight started.....

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And thats when the fight started.....

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And thats when the fight started.....

[ace of spades]

:ha

The things people say and do ...

[kiwi60]

Brilliant - I told my wife about the last one, and that's when the fight started...

[stan]

[djalbin]

A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for
His wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500
In price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for
The most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to
His wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy-), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer
that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the
modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it !'

And thats when the fight started.....

[Hooligan]

hahahahahaha!

[djalbin]

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And that's when the fight started...
-----------------------------------------------

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...
--------------------------------------------------

A woman is looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's near perfect.'

And that's when the fight started...