Police Funnies

[FZRDude]

The Following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual
police car videos around the country.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're
new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In
case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a
9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I
guess that means I can write anything I want on the
ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,
but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that
I am the shift supervisor?"

# 9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K. I'm warning
you not to do that again or I'll give you another
ticket."

# 8 "The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat
or a dog?"

# 7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy,
and step in monkey DOO."

# 6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my
wife gets a toaster oven."

# 5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

# 4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

# 3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to
have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many
tickets as we want."

# 2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
personal friend of yours. At least you know someone
who can post your bail."

And... THE BEST ONE!!!

# 1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?...
You're right, we don't. . . . Sign here

[djalbin]

That's a great list

[FZRDude]

My favorite one is #14

[KontoBoy]

My 18 year old daughter recently fessed up to being pulled over for speeding. As she told it, she pulled off the interstate and didn't adjust her speed enough, saw a cop following her for a wwile before he finally pulled her over.

I don't pay my kids tickets, and I've told my kids any insurance hikes they are paying. She had an icentive to get out of it.

The cop come to the window and asks for license and registration. Damn, she left her license at home. She offers her registration and high school ID! And as the cop looks it over and tells her she was doing 50 something in the 35, she notices he's standing there with his had on his gun.

Her reply was, "So are you going to shoot me!"

He let her off with a warning!

Kontoboy

[orionburn]

My favorite one is #14

Ditto