Understanding Blondes

[djalbin]

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor". She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely ifhe could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

BLONDE PETS
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs.


North Bay (Ontario) trucker
As a North Bay trucker stops for a red light on Hwy. 11, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi,my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car , runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says,

"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in CANADA, and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!!!!

[FZRDude]

BLONDE PETS
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs.

That one I think they could get away with. LOL

[MsHap]

Shut up!

[djalbin]

Chrissy,

There are exceptions to every rule. I will have to preface my blond jokes with "present company excluded".

Don

[MsHap]

No, you should not exlude me. lol Stereotypes are there for a reason.

That does not mean I have to like it.

[FZRDude]

A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing "That's horrible."

Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and, there is that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"

[MsHap]

bbbbbbbbbbbbbbooooooooooo!