BAD NEWS DAY TODAY

kiwi60 · Post by **kiwi60** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:43 am

I got a phone call from a good friend this morning telling me that her husband has comitted suicide yesterday.
My wife and I knew both of them for over 25 years, they were at our wedding and we were at theirs.
It's been a hard day with a gammit of emotions raging as I've lost very close friend.
He seemed to have everything, a great marriage, two beautiful children, a mortgage free home and a successful career that was going ok even in these tough times.
The only factor I can grasp at is he did have 'mood swings' that could lead to depression and I think he bottomed out this time and could see no way back, despite going to the doctor about it this week.

I guess what I'm trying to say is nothing is ever that bad, and if your heading down - start talking to those around you cause I can guarantee they will be there for you, just as you would be for them.

And if no-one will listen - PM me and I will.

djalbin · Post by **djalbin** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 2:51 am

Sorry to hear about your friend kiwi60. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to change the outcome.

hotcam · Post by **hotcam** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 3:06 am

PM sent.

Post by **FZRDude** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 3:46 am

I can relate, I mean really. I had a friend do the same thing back in April, except he'd been un-employed for aver a year. Caught everyone by suprise.

I'm here for you buddy!!!!

kiwi60 · Post by **kiwi60** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 3:51 am

Cheers guys, just bummed out about the whole thing and going through the usual 'why the hell would he do a dumb thing like that' phase, but I've got a real good wife beside me and tomorrow we'll go and visit and help make arrangements.

Darrel was part Maori, and part of their culture is to have him in their home for a few days to help everyone move through the grieving process and say good bye, that will be a tuff one...

stan · Post by **stan** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 4:53 am

My friend and work colleague Dean took his own life almost ten years ago. His wife was also a good friend and one of my old apprentices, who after tall this time i still keep in contact with. I have talked to her alot over this period, just being there for her to lean on when she needed it.

Kiwi, i trust you can find soloce amonst your family and friends at this time, and find strength and comfort in your mates Maori traditions

stan

rgvlc · Post by **rgvlc** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:33 am

Sad news, Sorry to hear, A fella I knew took his own life recently, he was the type who was always laughing and joking. Depression can be devastating to some.

rush1 · Post by **rush1** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 5:03 pm

I'm truly sorry to hear about your lose Kiwi. Depression has hit a ton of people with all that is going on in this world and some people believe there is no where else to go or do to help them. I know it hard to deal with the lose of someone close but always remember them for who they were. Again sorry to hear about your lose.

gtlewis · Post by **gtlewis** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:14 pm

Kiwi

Condolences

It's times like this that highlights whats important in life -

Family,
Good friends,
a fast EXUP,
and having the time to do the things that bring you happiness!

Regards
Tony

JasonL · Post by **JasonL** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:09 pm

Horrible news Kiwi, I don't know what the figure is in NZ but I was staggered to hear the other day there are about 2000 suicides a year in Aus, that's over 5 people a day, every day and the vast majority are men.

We had our own pause for contemplation this weekend when one of the 600 novices were killed at Phillip Isl. The remainder of the meeting was cancelled.

kiwi60 · Post by **kiwi60** » Sun Aug 01, 2010 12:47 pm

I think the stat's are just as bad here, plus we have one of the highest youth suicide rates in the world as well.

It was a tough day yesterday especially on his children, and one I never want to repeat, but a very healing day as well.

With the casket open we all took time to sit with Darrel and talk about the good times we had together with him, and of his love of life, family and friends.
By the end of the day the children were playing card games on the bed by their Dad and the healing process had begun.

His taking his own life was the result of extreme depression and a very proud man who couldn't live with the label of it.

The next few days are going to be taken up with fairwelling him with the service on Tuesday here in Auckland and burial on Wednesday at the family marae 300km down country.

spook · Post by **spook** » Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:17 pm

Condolences, to family and friends Kiwi.

Depression is a bitch, but more so removing the stigma that is associated with it is paramount.

YEC_YZF750SP · Post by **YEC_YZF750SP** » Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:57 pm

That's horrible news Kiwi...very sorry to hear the loss of your good friend.

sickle44 · Post by **sickle44** » Thu Aug 05, 2010 5:07 pm

Graham,

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss my friend, I've been out of the loop as I've been away on holidays and we left when you posted this, we're still on holidays; otherwise, I would have posted much sooner. I appreciate the fact that you've thrown yourself out there for anyone else who may be thinking likewise, I too can also be grouped in that same lot if anyone's in need. Please PM me, or Graham, call us; Please, there is more to life; and suicide is just not the way to the "more" part of it!!!

Pm me if you want Graham, let me know how I can pray for your friend's family and yourself.

kiwi60 · Post by **kiwi60** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 1:30 am

PM sent